Star Wars: The Force Awakens: The Unofficial Rewrite
by Bartimaeus6
Summary: This Is a simple rewrite of The Force Awakens, please enjoy.
1. Chapter 1

Star Wars:

The Force Awakens

Unofficial Rewrite

FTA: Hey guys this the first piece of fictional writing I've ever done in my life so let me know if you have any suggestions! If anyone show any interest in it and my school schedule allows I will keep updating this. I'm going to be changing what I thought were the new movies weakest points completely ignoring all EU stuff to create what I believe to be the strongest narrative. If you guys have any criticism or advice please let me know, and I hope you guys enjoy the read. May the force be with you!

3/10/2016 edit sorry guys for the long wait! I decided to do put this chapter first because it flows better with the narrative. I hope you guys enjoy!

FN-2187

I was lying on a cold metal table, restraints held bound me from head to toe. Kylo Ren stood over me. I could feel his icy glare peering into me from behind his mask. He wore the black robes of a sith with a hood draped over his helmet.

"Again" he commanded and I could feel the force vibrate around him as he prepared himself to drill into my mind once again.

"I... I can't" I mumbled almost losing conscious from the pain of having my mind broken so many times.

Ignoring me, I felt his presence try to pierce into my mind. I tried to throw up walls and recite the code of the order, count cards, or list the parts to my rifle.

However, it proved useless as Kylo broke through in seconds. He forced his way into my mind and once again began showing me images.

I saw a defeated figure wearing dark clothing hunched over on his knees in front of an octagonal window where a space battle raged outside. Standing opposite to the man was a figure I immediately recognized to be Darth Vader. I also recognized the wizened face of Emperor Palpatine who peered out from a hooded black cloak as he sat on his throne behind Vader.

"Join me Luke, and together we can rule the galaxy as Father and Son." boomed Vader. Extending his hand outward towards his Son as he did so.

"Yes Father" answered Luke. He grabbed his Father's hand and allowed himself to be helped to his feet.

"There is only one obstacle that stands in our way" Vader said to his Son turning to face Emperor Palpatine.

The Emperor croaked out laughing, "Don't be foolish Vader, even with the help of this child, you will never be able to overcome me. I created you Vader, It was I who showed you the true nature of the force. Yet you still have yet to understand a even a fraction of the true power that I control."

"Together we can accomplish anything." Vader responded before releasing a torrent of energy at The Emperor.

The Emperor sat in the middle of the torrent unaffected as the metal paneling around him begin to bend upwards at extreme angles. However I could see from the concentration on The Emperor's face that he was locked in a fierce battle with Darth Vader.

Luke stepped forward and stood next to his father as well. He raised his hand and the warping affect around The Emperor doubled.

Emperor Palpatine's face contorted with concentration and rage as he tried to fend off the dual assault.

Vader struggled as he began to walk towards The Emperor, a force seemingly tried to push him back but he quickly gained ground and was soon standing in front of the throne.

There was a Pssshhew sound as Darth Vader activated his blood red light saber and lifted it over his head ready to strike.

"TRAITOR!" screamed Palpatine as lightning bolts erupted from his hands and leaped at Darth Vader.

Vader's lightsaber flew from his hands as the lightning struck him. He kneeled over in pain and raised his hands and seemed to absorb most of the lightning into his palms. Although the exertion was clearly causing him pain.

"A mere slave will never be able to overcome m...!" The Emperor was cut off as a green lightsaber burst through his chest.

"I am no slave" Luke stated as he walked out from behind the throne.

Vader lay weakened, his armor burned on the ground at Luke's feet.

"Help me my Son" he pleaded and reached upwards towards Luke.

"I am afraid there is only room enough for one ruler in the universe Father" a smile spread across Luke's face as he used the force to lift Vader up and threw him into the nearest exhaust tube.

Vader scream as he fell to his death and his son walked out of the throne room ready to conquer the world.

I was shown how everything fell apart after that. Whole populations of people starved as The Empire lost power and the universe was unable to maintain its normal order.

The republic was set up and soon began to destroy civilizations that maintained their alliance with The Empire. They spared no one eliminating entire planets in an effort to rid the galaxy of the remnants of the Empire.

I was shown Republic ships firing upon rural civilizations and republic troops mercilessly gunning down women and children.

Luke began his own "Jedi" academy and ripped away prime students from their families and forced them to train under him.

I saw the Jedi that Luke trained use their powers to torture and dominate the minds of suspected Imperial sympathizers.

"No... please... I can't take any more." I begged crying as all this information was being forced in to me.

"Do you Understand!?" Kylo shouted, as his hate of the Jedi and the Republic flowed through the force and into me.

"I... I understand" I said

I was shaken awake by JA-0820, one of the only friends I had managed to make after I had been assigned to become a part of The Knighthunters. A team specifically assembled to seek out the remaining Jedi in the galaxy.

Bad dream? he asked

"More like bad memories" I replied "Out of everything we've gone through it's funny that training is still the thing that haunts me the most."

"Well they don't call it conditioning because it's easy 87" he chuckled. Our rest is over anyways, the other knights are in position and have surrounded the temple. He always had a way of not taking things too seriously something about him I both liked and disliked.

"Do you think we'll actually get her this time?" I asked rhetorically but got an answer anyway.

We'd better, I don't want to be the one to tell Kylo that a dumb Jedi schutta eluded us again.

At that moment we heard Captain Phasma over the comm inside our helmets. "We're in position enter the temple at your position and find the Jedi."

"affirmative" we answered simultaneously

We did a quick check of our armor, a reinforced grey stormtrooper standard issue with a badge representing our position in the Knighthunters, our jetpacks, other various equipment and entered the ancient temple.

We entered the squared stone entrance into an high ceilinged hall. The walls were cracked with age and nature had been reclaiming the temple since the absence of its inhabitants. Plants battled against the ancient stone and forced their way between every crack in the floor below us. Serving to dampen our heavy footfalls as we moved cautiously from cover to cover as we proceeded deeper in to the old ruins.

The hall divided into a left and right pathway JA-0820 motioned me to take the right path. I nodded an affirmative and proceeded alone as he took the other path.

I felt nervous and tense at the possibility of having to face a Jedi on my own.

Soon I began to hear a soft voice, from down the hall. I crouched down out of instinct. and as quietly as possible proceeded towards the voice.

I crouched down outside the opening to the room from which the voice must have been coming.

I heard focused on the words and began to understand clearly a women's voice saying "Please just try to hurry, You are safe to land at the drop zone I can feel that they all have entered the temple to come and look for me."

A male electronic voice from a communicator responded, "Don't worry if anyone can get you out of there it's me. I'll be there soon just make sure you are able to get to the roof on time, we might be cutting this really close."

"I will Poe, thank you."

I pressed the locator on my arm that sent a signal to the other Knights with my location and decided to wait for backup to arrive.

A light beep inside my helmet indicated that someone had reached me. but, I couldn't see anyone. Or hear any commotion in the room

I chanced a glance inside and saw a human woman dressed in simple robes gathering up a small decorative box. She turned her head towards the doorway as if sensing my gaze and I quickly drew my head back behind the doorway, startled.

"You'll never catch me by hiding there." she said

Goaded I leapt out from my hiding place my rifle trained on her. "Don't move, reach for your lightsaber and it will be the last thing you do" I threatened trying to sound confident "My troop already knows of my location and is on their way. You're trapped."

"You're wrong," she responded. Without even turning around or acknowledging me as a threat "It is you who is trapped. I am free to control my own destiny."

"Be quiet! Don't make me kill you" I warned

She ignored me "You are different from the other stormtroopers. I can sense that you have managed to harbor some rebellious thoughts, even in spite of the brainwashing that Kylo Ren must have given you. You are scared of the force because it has been used to hurt you. But it is only the tool not the entity."

"You don't know anything about me!" I snarled, once again giving into her taunts.

"I am a Jedi, I can look at you and see your true nature as easily as I can look at a work of art and see the passion of the artist who created it."

I could feel myself lowering my weapon and as she talked I could feel her presence on the outskirts of my mind, not trying to break in. But trying to influence my thoughts.

My conditioning kicked in and I snapped "Get out of my head!" I screamed my body only remembering the pain that came with a force user invading your thoughts as I launched a net out of my rifle at her.

She was too fast. She quickly turned around activated her lightsaber and cut the net in half all in one motion. The sides of the net passed harmlessly to either side of her as JA-0820 ran into the room and fired a net as well. She dove down another hallway to her right narrowly dodging the second shot.

"Are you ok?" JA asked quickly turning to me.

"I'm fine don't let her get away!" I shouted adrenaline rushed through my veins as the anger that burned inside me forced me to only think about one thing, making her suffer as I have suffered because of the people who use the force to make themselves superior to others.

We tore after her I was pulling ahead and could see myself getting closer to her as she leapt over fallen pillars and made ran through the narrow halls.

I lost sight of her as she quickly turned a corner. Within seconds I turned the corner as well with JA close behind me I saw her

We ran to the end of the room and turned down the hall to chase after her just in time to see her jump a large gap in the floor and barely land on the other side. Without any hesitation I made the leap as well I slammed into the wall on the opposite side barely managing to hang on with only a finger hold on one hand.

JA made the leap as well but his conditioning wasn't activated like mine was and I could tell he second guessed from the time he leapt. He wasn't going to make it, he slammed the wall next to me and seemingly in slow motion began to fall. I let go with one hand and grabbed him by the wrist. The combined weight of us both and our armor quickly began to strain me to my limit.

I noticed that the floor to the gap had been trapped with sharp spikes of aluminum alloy that would cut through even our dense armor.

"Hang on to me!" I yelled as I desperately tried to keep him from falling.

"You can't hang on to us both." he replied as the Jedi came back and peered over the edge.

"Let me help you" she said

"Get back! Or I swear I'll..." she ignored me again "You need my help. You're in no position to argue."

"Why?" I asked dumbfounded that a Jedi would ever offer someone help.

"I can feel that it is the right thing to do" She said leaning down to help pull JA up.

However, a red bolt struck her in the shoulder just as she leaned down. She flew backwards and cried out in pain. "Capture the Jedi!" I could hear Captain Phasma shout as nets came sailing over our heads towards the Jedi.

None of them must have hit their mark because I could hear as she took off running down another hallway. fire from the troopers behind me chasing after her

The other knights sailed over my head and immediately ran in pursuit after the Jedi along with one caped figure I recognized to be my Captain. When none of the troop stopped to help I immediately yelled over the comm to Captain Phasma.

"Send a unit back to help us! I am unable to lift JA-0820 to safety!"

"Capturing the Jedi is our priority those are our orders!" she yelled and the comm snapped off.

I screamed in frustration and from pain as my muscles began to tear from holding so much weight for so long. I continued to yell pointlessly into the comm for assistance.

"We're on our own 87." JA said

"I know I'll get us out of this, just give me a second to think."

"I've been a part of the order for as long as I could remember, and I can't say that any of it was particularly enjoyable." JA chuckled

"This is no time to be reminiscing!" I yelled frustrated that he couldn't even take this situation seriously.

"Until I met you," he continued "When I was selected for the Knights the training almost broke -me. I couldn't imagine going on any longer and thought about ending my life.

"Tell me after we get out of this! We need to think of something!" I yelled as I could feel his hand slipping."

"But I saw the way you handled the training so much better than all the other recruits. It inspired me and gave me a reason to continue forward."

"What are you talking about JA?"

"If it weren't for you I would have never have made it this far. I just wanted to say... thank you for being my friend." He said as he pulled his hand away from mine and fell into the pit.

"Nooooo!" I screamed and I looked away but couldn't help from hearing the sound as the blades below tore into him.

Tears fell from my eyes as I dragged myself finally onto the platform above me and for a moment allowed my pain to overcome me as I lay on the stone floor.

I could feel my anger quickly edge back into my mind and numb my pain. Triggered by my sadness. An emotion that my conditioning wouldn't allow me to feel.

I struggled onto my feet and didn't allow myself to look at the body of my fallen comrade before taking off to hunt the Jedi with the others in my troop.

Following the beacons from the other Knights I quickly ascended several hallways before finally coming to the roof of the temple overlooking the dense forest of the planet floor below.

The ten soldiers in my troop had their backs to me when I entered. Each one had their weapons trained on the Jedi who stood on the opposite side of the roof still clutching the decorative box I saw her grab. a sheer drop stood into the forest below stood behind her.

"It's over" Captain Phasma said to the Jedi. "Kylo Ren will be here shortly. Fighting us will only cause us to inflict more pain upon you then is necessary" she said icily

Ignoring her the Jedi looked straight at me and a frown spread across her face as if she had understood exactly what had occured.

"Forgive me" she said without breaking her gaze on me.

"What are you talking about?" snapped Captain Phasma

Just then the roof exploded "Find cover!" Ordered Captain Phasma as a republic x-wing flew overhead and fired a few more bolts at us. One hit right in the middle of the formation, knocking Captain Phasma back against a wall where she crumpled to the floor and lay motionless.

I dove back inside the temple and waited until the firing ceased. I peered outside and saw that the fighter had landed on the rooftop. It was piloted by a man with dark brown hair and a crooked nose. I saw the Jedi scaling the side to get to the secondary cockpit seat in the X-wing.

Captain Phasma had recovered at that point and began firing pointlessly at the craft as the cockpit shut and began to lift off.

Before it could get too far off the ground a bolt of energy hit the engine and the fighter exploded and came crashing down on the rooftop.

A solid black craft darkened the sky above me and cast the roof into a shadow, It hovered above the rooftop without landing and a circular door opened from the bottom and Kylo Ren leapt out onto the rooftop.

The Jedi opened the cockpit and slid down the side, collapsing to her hands and knees before coming to her feet.

Kylo Ren stood between me and the Jedi his only interest was with her.

"It has been a long time Lunarla" rasped Kylo Ren his modulator distorting his voice in an inhuman way

"Not long enough she replied," holding her side and struggling for breath

"Seclusion has not been kind to you, join me Lunarla, there is so much more to be gained from working with me then withering away in hiding. There is so much we could do to benefit the universe if we work together. I have learned ways to use the force that our old master could never even dream of. Let me show what the force is truly capable of."

"You have no idea what the force is capable of." She responded smiling which was in stark contrast with the defiant look in her eyes."

"In time you will see things from my point of view" Kylo said

"You mean from Snoke's point of view? No thanks, I already have a master."

"A master who abandonded you just like he abanodonded the rest of the universe. And you have no choice, you will learn from Master Snoke!" Kylo snapped rage escaping from his voice.

"You're wrong," she said smiling. She turned towards me and quickly used all her remaining energy to break down my already weakened mind. However instead of the usual feeling of pain, I felt immense joy. For one moment she showed me the heartbeat of the universe the cosmic strings which weave a web between all living things and binds us together. I realized that for one brief moment she had shown me what it means to feel the force. It was nothing like I had imagined. I didn't feel powerful or superior to other beings. I felt one with them. It was beautiful.

It seemed like an eternity to me but it happened in only an instant. She immediately collapsed to the ground from the exertion. Lifeless...

Kylo Ren immediately barked orders at stormtroopers who must have disembarked the ship behind him.

"Take her to a medical bay immediately! Do everything you can to keep her alive! Check the pilot as well. If he is alive take him to the ship, I wish to interrogate him."

I collapsed, on the ground as well wondering if I too was going to die on this planet. The last thing I could remember is Captain Phasma standing over me.

"I understand" I told her; everything went black...


	2. Chapter 2

"Rey"

It's another arid day here on Tattoine. Sweat drips down the back of my neck as I begin to take out a power compressor from an ion for me I seem to be the first one who has found this room.

"We should make a pretty good haul off off this BB-8" a droid that's been my companion since childhood. He gave some excited Wooo's in response.

"Maybe even enough to pay off Hans tab at the cantina." I said chuckling to myself. I finally manage to pull it free and stowed it away in my bantha hide bag.

With my bag full I marked the location of the room on a map, and left deciding to come back and take the room apart some more on another day.

On my way back to my sand speeder. I thought about the fierce battle that must have taken place to crash this old imperial star destroyer here. It must have been back in the days of the war and the rise of the new republic I thought to myself,

I secured my loot and BB-8 to my speeder and headed back home to the scrap yard in Mos Eisley. Han told me once that Mos Eisley was a small town for criminals and pirates. However, since the war it has grown into a city of over a million. I had lived almost as long as I can remember within the walls of this city.

It has dense and narrow alleys filled with Criminals, gangs, and people desperate enough for credits to try and fight The New Republic With more people showing up from all over the system every day to join up with The First Order.

I pulled in through a crowded market on the East side of the city to avoid getting "Revised" by the troopers at the main gate and made my way home. The scrap yard was circular in shape with stone walls that have been turned brown from being beaten by the sand for so many years.

As I pulled into the archway on the north side to reach the entrance, the large metal gate automatically opened for me and I rode onwards towards the center. Passing by the piles of wrecked ships and parts that we have managed to salvage from wreckages that we found crashed in the sandy dunes of Tattoine. I quickly came into view of the Hangar and my brown dome shaped home.

As I pulled up I saw Chewie outside trying to repair one of the moisture collectors. "How did your hunt go?" He asked in wookie, as I got off my bike. I opened my bag to show him as a grin spread across my face. "A great haul Rey." We should be able to sell these quickly and finally replace some of these moisture collectors. "Where is Han?" I asked excited to show off my loot to him as well.

"Off trying to pick a fight at a First Order recruitment office?" He laughed a throaty wookie laugh. "He said he'd be playing pazaak down at the cantina, but who knows with him." I rolled my eyes, and smiled "You think he would be calming down at his age. I'm going going to go find him before he gambles off BB-8 too." "Whoooop!" he exclaimed worriedly." I'm only joking" I said laughing you know Han would never gamble you off. I said goodbye to Chewie, grabbed my staff off the speeder, and headed off on foot to the Cantina BB-8 rolling along behind me.

There was a lot of traffic on the main road so I decided to take the alleys to reach the cantina. As I walked on the dirt roads under the shady arches and tightly packed alleys, I felt like I could sense the danger ahead of me. I ignored it and continued on, quickly regretting it.

As I approached an intersection in the road. A blue twi'lek who I recognized to be Oonga, a known criminal who was the head of a swoop biker gang, stepped out from the left side of the pathway in front of me. He wore a heavy black riders jacket with the words "Rol Chee'ron" emblazoned across the back of it. A human I didn't recognize with a similar jacket on Stepped out from the right side. Two more men walked up from behind to block my escape.

"Out of my way Oonta. "I don't have time to knock you around again" "I noticed that you were carrying a pretty full load when you came into town today." He said ignoring my comment. "You really seem to have a special sense for finding the best scrap locations." He said smiling and leaning non chalantly against the wall beside him. I already dropped my loot off with Chewbacca. Let me know if you want to go try to muscle the parts off of him, I'd love to go and watch. I gibed sarcastically.

"I'm not trying to rob you Rey, The First Order has made it hard to run a swoop gang in the city. "They interfere in our normal... Business activities, and draw away both clients and members when they sign up to be stromtroopers." "So I'm looking to turn the focus of the Rol Chee'rons towards a new source of income. All I want from you is information.

"Just some help establishing our place as scavengers. You should join up with us Rey. I can pay you ten times as much as you'll ever make with that crazy old dru..."

"You shut your mouth you disgusting piece of slime!" I snarled at him. As if I would ever join up with a bunch of miserable little cretins like you, Go fall in a sarlac pit." He stood up straight and faced towards me. The fake smile and calm demeanor copmletely gone.

"I wasn't asking. It's what is best for you, and it's what is best for that drunken fool and disgusting animal you consider a family." He said placing his hand on a blaster holstered at his side at the same time he spoke.

"E chu ta" I said through gritted teeth as I activated the tasers on both ends of my staff and stabbed one end into his chest while he was still fumbling with his blaster. I swung around flourishing my staff overhead as I brought it down on one of the attackers behind me. Sparks exploded from the end as the taser connected with his face and he fell incapacitated to the floor.

I felt one of them knock my staff from my hands as they grabbed me from behind under each shoulder. The man in front of me pulled out a knife and quickly lunged. I threw all my weight backwards against the attacker holding me and received a small cut on the arm as the man with the knife lost his footing and fell forward onto his stomach. I threw my arms up and grabbed the man holding me by the back of the head and then threw my weight forward bending at the waist to throw him on the floor in front of me.

By then the man with the knife had stood up and charged. He tried to stab me missing as I dodged to the left grabbed the knife with one hand and hit him in the throat with the crook of my arm. Sending him crashing onto his back unconscious. I immediately sensed danger behind me and with the knife still in my hand I unconsciously reacted turning and throwing it right into the palm of Oonta knocking his blaster pistol from his hand.

He screamed in agony holding on to his wrist and falling to his knees. "Stay away from us." I warned as he stood up and gleered at me with a hate filled stare. "You will regret not accepting my offer!" He shouted turning and running, leaving his injured comrades behind him. I tore off a piece of my white tunic to bandage the cut on my arm and started off again towards the cantina.


End file.
